haha. was bored. then went to go read chicken soup again.. =). just realised that it's actually quite a wonderful book. when i was probably pri5 or 6, when i read it, i felt that it was quite boring. but now that i went back to reading it, i found it interesting. probably cos i've gained much more experience in life now, learnt more things about life and i felt that i've indeed grown into a better person. in the past, i kindda hated myself cos i felt that i was fat and ugly and like everybody hated me. but now, with my own wonderful circle of friends and a wonderful bf, i've grown to love myself alot. but sometimes, there will definitely be points of time in life where you will go through self-denial and all, but i usually get through these periods of time easily and stand back up on my feet again. =). probably is cos of my parents. now that they keep telling me about the cruel world and all that's going outside, i learnt to be a stronger person, never to be bullied by big fishes. and i think that's the main reason why i cannot believe in a religion. from what i feel, religion this kindda thing is abit surreal and unpractical. that's why people like to preach students. cos they have not seen the outside world. they don't know what's going on. well, not that i want to make myself look as if i'm mature or whatsoever, but i'm just writing out my thoughts about my stuff. but sometimes, indeed i do feel that i know more about the business world than my peers. back to the religion issue. yeah. i know that some God-lovers will shoot me back, saying that 'you know nothing about God. so scram.' ya. i admit (damned. mental block. thought of this word for so long.) that i don't feel the love or whatsoever of the God that you're talking about. but i have heard of the gospel many many times. i have even read the bible many times. tried going to church many times. tried opening my heart for God. but i still can't feel God's presence.. i know i'm weird, but i don't believe in a god. most people is like believe there's a god but just don't feel there's a need to convert. probably cos, sorry to say, but there are less and less good testimonials of God nowadays.. =x. ok. nvm. shall stop blogging here. xD. actually didn't plan to watch the 12am match. but there was a 2min goal.. so decided to watch it. =D. shall go watch now!